


Out of the dark, into the sun

by f1fanatic



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: F/M, Love/Hate, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Racing, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2020-11-22
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:20:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 20,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26992792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/f1fanatic/pseuds/f1fanatic
Summary: Leah Moore has been a two times Formula 2 champion despite her young age. What happens when at the age of 17 she is asked to sign a contract with Red Bull Racing? For once, everything seems to be going great for her. So why does she still feel like something important isn't quite how it's supposed to be?
Relationships: Max Verstappen/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 13
Kudos: 65





	1. Swallow your words, it's not a one man show

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, this is the first thing I wrote since my artist block 3 years ago. I finished reading the entirety of "Dodging The Heat" by Zephoria and was feeling an extreme lack of long, f1 smut. So I decided to make my own. Hope you enjoy it. Any and all feedback greatly appreciated :) The title comes from an Amaranthe song, Fearless. The title of this chapter is also a quote from an Amaranthe song, Die and Wake Up. I plan on naming all the chapters after song quotes, I just think it adds a personal touch from my own music taste :)

Breathe.

Just breathe.

You've got this Leah.

She could feel her heart about to jump out of her chest. It was the start of Barcelona testing and her first time in a Formula 1 car. After securing her first Formula 2 championship in 2018, she was approached by Christian Horner and given an opportunity to join Red Bull Racing alongside Max Verstappen. She ended up declining the offer, choosing to stay another year in F2.

She told herself she didn't feel ready to "race with the big guns", but that was just an excuse. The real reason why she didn't take Christian's offer was the fear of messing up and fucking her entire career she's worked on for years.

But after finishing high school and getting a second championship, she felt as if her abilities had improved to a level at which she could grab a seat in the most prestigious of motor sports. Luckily for her, there was a seat up for taking. In the team she rejected a year before. Red Bull wasn't very happy with Albon's performance in 2019 and turned to her, asking to replace him. She said yes and a few months later there she was. Leah Moore. First female driver. Second youngest full time Formula 1 driver, only 100 days older than Max Verstappen when he started his career in 2014.

And now, she was his teammate.

She wasn't sure how to feel about that. Sure, Max seemed like a cool guy and they would probably get along, but she's seen how aggressive he can get on track. One of the things she was excited for most is getting into an open rivalry, especially with a more experienced driver. She was always a very proud and ambitious person, always wanted, nay, needed, to be the best, the strongest, the fastest. Becoming the first female F1 driver at the age of 17 is something she wouldn't have dreamt of in a million years as a kid. All her life she felt as if she had to prove herself to everyone around. 

In the first press conference when asked if she considers any of the drivers her direct competition she just looked around at her fellow drivers "I think everyone here can say we will all fight to be the greatest. That's what it's all about, right? But if we're talking about direct competition, then I would have to say Max. I feel like your teammate is always your greatest enemy, but I hope me and Max can have a civilised relationship" she smiled at the Dutchman, who was zoning out and flinched at the sound of his name. He rolled his eyes at her, throwing her off. Why was he being cold? Has she done something wrong? Was he always like this? She cleared her throat and continued. "I plan on fighting for the title and I'm not going to make it easy on anyone". A few people around the room stifled a chuckle, including current world champion, Lewis Hamilton, but one look at the determination on her face was enough to wipe the smile off his face.

On the day before her first Barcelona practice she could barely sleep with the self-inflicted pressure making it hard to breathe. She felt her eyes were sore. Memories of last night came flooding back. She had been experiencing panic attacks since she was 13, but nothing like what happened a few hours before. She remembers being able to barely breathe and trying not to scream as she felt her eyes flood with tears and her mind go numb. 

She shook her head as if to erase the images of last night out of her memory and looked at her phone. 5:26. Will anyone ask questions if she leaves her hotel room so early? She got up, washed her face and looked in the mirror "Fuck". Her blue eyes were red and anyone who looked at her would be able to tell she hadn't had much sleep. She ended up deciding to go on a run around the outside of the hotel. She put her dark brown hair up into a tall ponytail. Slipping on a dark blue team t-shirt and black shorts, she plugged in her earphones and put on her workout playlist to wake herself up fully. 

She walked down the stairs and into the lobby, "No one's up" she sighed quietly to herself and immediately got proven wrong as she heard voices coming from outside the entrance. She paused her music and tried to make out who it was. She managed to distinguish three voices. All male. She didn't have to try to identify them, the men entered the building right as she figured out who it was. Max, Lewis and Sebastian. All of them sweaty and out of breath. They must've been running. Hearing her voice pulls her out her thoughts. 

"Moore? Are you okay?" Lewis looked worried as he observed her. "Yeah, all good. Just going on a run.". She showed them a thumbs up and tried to leave but was stopped when Lewis put his hand on her shoulder. She looked at him puzzled and he squinted. "Your eyes are red. Either you have been smoking, which I doubt since you're still a kid, or you have been crying." He stated. She tried to figure out what to say, but before she could come up with a response Max rolled his eyes and sighed 

"Lewis, let's just go. So what if she's been crying, she's a girl, they cry all the time" 

She has never seen someone look so cold whilst speaking. All air in her lungs left as she huffed and tried to think of something to say to get back at him. The Dutchman looked at Sebastian, who has been quiet the whole time, unusual for him. She could see the German didn't really care about Max's comment and she felt a bit hurt he wasn't trying to defend her. Lewis sighed and let go of her arm "Come talk to me if you need to vent, okay?" She nodded as the other drivers called out to him.

After running for about two hours she started seeing more and more people and decided to head back to her hotel room. Once there she took a long shower and thought about her interaction with the drivers in the morning. She smiled softly at the thought of Lewis's offer. It was really nice of him to say that, making her feel he cared about her. It would be great to have a friend in the paddock that she could just talk to. Lewis seemed very down to earth and of course a very good driver. Her mood immediately dropped when she remembered what Max said. Was he just like that or did he just hate her? Did she do anything to upset him? She tried to mentally run back through all of her interactions with him. She couldn't find a single time where she wasn't friendly and respectful. "Maybe he's just like that." She said to herself.

After stepping out of the shower she got into her race suit and made her way to the motorhome, making sure to grab breakfast on the way. She was finishing her sandwich as she entered the energy station. She looked around and smiled when she heard a laugh she would recognize everywhere. She looked in that direction and saw long blond hair. Olivia Dalton, her best friend since freshman year, now her PR manager. "Liv! I'm so happy you're here!" She hugged her friend and looked around again. "Huh. Weird." Olivia looked at her "What is it?" 

"I thought he would have been here before me" she kept rambling "Who? Christian?"

"I'm pretty sure she meant me"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, make sure to leave me any feedback, really I'll take anything I can get at this point :)


	2. It's been a while since I told you, that I hate you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm on a roll so let's write another one why not. Chapter title comes from Holy Ground by Within Temptation

"I'm pretty sure she meant me"

She heard his voice behind her. The same voice which scoffed at her a few hours before. She pretended not to hear him and kept talking to her friend "Verstappen, you know, I actually ran into him in the morning. He was up before me so I assumed that he would be here earlier but I guess someone needs to teach him how a watch works. We have a meeting with Christian soon." She walked over to one of the mechanics and started asking about the car, making sure not to pay any attention to the Dutchman. 

He couldn't believe it. The fact she had the audacity to ignore him. Doesn't she know who he is? She looked at Olivia, the girl has been working here since last year and he's grown to like having her around as his PR manager, but now she was leaving him. For her. It made sense, they were friends. His eyes were filled with rage "You know her, tell me. Is she always so arrogant?" The American rolled her eyes and smirked "No, Max, she's just nervous, it's her first time in a F1 car. Weren't you stressed before yours?" "No" Yes. Yes he was. So much. "Well, she is. You should go talk to her. You are teammates. Please." She grabbed his hand "Fine, but you know I don't like her" "Why is that exactly?" He hesitated for a moment "She… she's going to take my titles" he rubbed his nose at how selfish that sounded. "So you're jealous? That she's going to be the second youngest driver? Max, do you hear how dumb that sounds?" 

He expected that sort of response, but not so blunt. "No, she's going to be the youngest driver to score a podium. And to win a race. Don't." He stopped her before she had the chance to say anything "We both know she's going to win a race this season. Hell, she even has a chance at the championship, let's not kid ourselves" Olivia sighed and pointed towards the entrance to the building "Horner is here, go" "Promise me you won't tell her what I said." She patted the tall man on the back "Only if you play nice Max" She watched as he shook the Team Principal's hand, followed by an eye roll and a handshake with Leah. Good, they need to get along. The team can't handle another Webber-Vettel relationship. 

She would say the meeting went well. The whole team seems excited to work with her. Well, almost the whole team. She still couldn't figure out why he hates her so much. 

He could handle her comments and her eye rolls, but pushing him off the track and into the gravel was a step too fucking far. He was fuming by the time he got back to the motorhome. "Where is she!?" His yelling made a few people around the room tense up, they all knew how he acts when he's angry. Christian walked up to him and put his hand on the Dutchman's shoulder "She's still out." He spoke slowly and his tone was soft as he tried to calm Max down. "Are you fucking kidding me? She crashed into me! She should be given a black flag. Or at least a penalty!" "She's going to be back in about 20 minutes and you're going to calm down till then. I'm not letting you talk to her in this state." Max didn't say anything, only mumbled something and left, before doing anything he'd regret later.

She came back to the Energy Station and immediately thought about Max's reaction when he saw her. "Did he look like he was going to murder me in my sleep?" Olivia chuckled "Oh yeah. Absolutely. But you're lucky, he left already, you don't have to deal with him for the next couple of hours." She sighed in relief "I'd drink to that if I wasn't 17." They both grabbed their things as she took one last glance at the times from the session. Hamilton, Bottas and her's. That was the top three and she couldn't believe it.

"I just can't figure it out. What the fuck did I do to upset him? He so obviously crashed into me on purpose and took himself out. If he keeps doing this we're both not going to score points in the races." She groaned frustrated at Max's behavior. Four out of six testing sessions she finished in top three, only messing up twice when she got hit by her own teammate. "Maybe he's just threatened by you? As he should. You're gonna nail it and get yourself the championship" Olivia was moving around the microwave trying to figure out how to turn it on "Let's not talk about Verstappen, okay? Come here and help me figure this shit out. Unless you don't want popcorn" Leah got up from the couch in her hotel room and walked over to her friend. She clicked a button and set the time. "I can't wait for Australia, it's going to be such a thrill!" She sat back down on the couch and started looking for something to watch. 

Back when she was in Formula 2 they made a promise that after every race they are going to sit down with popcorn and watch a movie. Just a random movie they find. And they have upheld this tradition, every Monday after a race weekend they get together and put on something to laugh at. Just so that they spend time together. 

Olivia knew how important this was for Leah, she told her many times, how she no longer felt like a person, with the press following her every move. Looking at every word she says. For now she was able to tell the media that the Red Bull drivers just had bad luck, that personally everything was great. If her feud with Max would leak, that would mean even less peace for the driver, as she would get grilled about him on every occasion, the press controlling her moves even further. So when in the middle of watching "Yesterday" she got a text from Horner to look at the news she knew something was wrong. She unlocked her phoned and opened the browser. She looked with horror at the front page of the official Formula 1 news:

"Max Verstappen in a state of war with Leah Moore after Barcelona testing"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading <3 As always, feedback is greatly appreciated. Thank you to the six lovely people who left kudos on the first chapter, I wasn't expecting that after 10 hours of the work being up.


	3. Your silence sounds like deafening screams to me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Got a day off so let's write some more. The title is from Frozen by Delain

"How fucking dare he? He crashes into me and then calls me the…" she looked at her phone "... The reckless, inexperienced and too impulsive one. The balls on this guy!" She threw her phone onto her bed, pacing around her room, back home in Seattle. With the virus forcing her to stay inside and calling off many races she was getting more frustrated with every day. She was reading about the current situation when she got a notification. It was Formula 1 news "Max Verstappen: more harsh comments about his teammate." He hasn't seen her in a month and decided to share more details about the crashes in Barcelona. This is the second time now that he came forward and openly called her off. 

She found out about the first time about a week after it happened. And she was furious.

What hurt the most, was that Olivia hid this from her. The person who was supposed to be there for her no matter what happened. "Lee, you have to understand, I would have told you before you went and saw him." She mocked her friend. "Oh Lambert, what do I do?" She turned to her black shorthair cat, who has been listening to her talk to herself for the last fifteen minutes. He purred into her hand and nudged her phone "Yeah you're probably right." She sighed and grabbed her phone. March 15. The season was supposed to start today with the Australian Grand Prix in Melbourne, but with the pandemic sweeping through the world all the races have either been postponed or cancelled all together. 

She chose Olivia's number and pressed connect. After two rings the call has gone through "Hello?" This was the first time she heard her voice since she found out about the interview with Max. "Hey Liv, it's me... I know it's been a while since we talked, but I just wanted to say I'm sorry." The seconds of silence that followed felt like hours and her heart was beating in her throat. "What are you sorry for?" The cold in her voice was ringing in her ears. She swallowed and cleared her throat "I'm sorry for getting mad at you. I'm sorry for not trusting you. You had your reasons not to tell me about it. You handle the media, you're my PR manager, but more importantly, you're my friend. I don't ever want us to fight again. Please forgive me." Silence. Again. "Oh Lee. I forgave you so long ago. Just wanted to hear you say that. I know how much that cost you. To lower your pride like that. On that note, though, have you talked to him?" She knew this would come up at some point. "I sent him a strong worded message on the day I found out. Got a thumbs up back." "Asshole." They both burst into laughter, all tension and conflict gone.

They ended up talking for three more hours and decided to meet up at Leah's house the next day for a movie day, just like the old days. They were both excited to see each other again.

***

Max was smiling at his phone at the message she sent him. "What girl got you in such a good mood, mate? Oh! Is it that spanish chick that was all over you in Barcelona?" Daniel laughed. The former Red Bull driver was visiting him in Monaco. "It's Moore, she's pissed at me." Daniel's smile immediately vanished. "Moore? What did you do now?" Max gave him a cheeky smile "You remember that interview I gave with Sky Sports after the last day of testing? The one in which I said we're openly in a rivalry?" The Aussie raised an eyebrow "The one in which you called her a little girl that should go back to karting?" Max nodded "Somehow she hasn't seen it until now. And now she has. And she's mad" He passed his phone to Daniel. "Oh… oh my god… okay that's just straight up mean" The Dutchman laughed and took a long sip of his beer. "She hates you mate" 

"I know. I hate her too"

***

The movie day was a success, they caught up, which they really needed to do, with Olivia getting a new dog and a tattoo of a bird on her biceps. But most importantly, for a day she finally stopped thinking about him. His words from that morning in Spain were no longer burned into her thoughts as she went on with her days in quarantine. March passed slowly and so did April. By May she found herself in a rhythm, wake up at 9, text her parents, feed Lambert, eat breakfast, work out, eat lunch, talk to Olivia, watch TV, eat dinner, play F1 2019, sometimes alone, sometimes with Lando, Geroge and Charles, feed Lambert again and go to sleep. Everyday. For a month. And it seemed to have to stay like that.

And then came June. And a phone call she hasn't expected.

She had just finished eating lunch, when she heard her phone ring. Thinking it's Olivia she grabbed her phone. There was no caller ID "Hello? Leah?" The voice she heard was definitely not her friend's, it was deep and male "Speaking" she still couldn't figure out who the caller was "It's Christian, did you see the news" So it was Horner, she hasn't seen him for months "Oh, did something happen? Is it Verstappen again?" He chuckled "I'll take that as a no. The season is back on in a month. Two races on the Red Bull Ring in July. And more after that." She couldn't believe it. The wait was over. She was ecstatic. "Really? Oh this is such great news, thank you!" "Yes, really. So get yourself comfortable with it in the simulator if you can. If we can score some good points at the opening of the season on our own track, it will look really good for the team." She took a deep breath "I won't disappoint you, I promise." He hung up. 

She still couldn't believe that she's getting back into the car after so long. It was still like a dream. But then it hit her and her happy bubble burst.

She would have to see him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this chapter <3 Feedback greatly appreciated :)


	4. I am the one you call the enemy, who you're trying to eliminate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's race weekend finally, I plan on making one chapter for Thursday and Friday, one for Saturday and one for Sunday. So 3 chapters per race. Yay. Title from one of my favorite Amaranthe songs, Danger Zone.

Arriving on Thursday in Austria felt… weird. Since the virus was still a present threat, the races were happening without an audience which threw her off. The stands, normally full of orange, were empty and looked almost menacing. She adjusted her mask and started heading to the motorhome, praying not to run into him before she gets there. She somehow manages to evade him and all the press in the paddock, to the media's dismay. 

"There she is! Our champion in the making!" She heard her race engineer, Simon, laugh with Christian. She joined the two men next to her car. "Oh I missed him!" She petted the car, which made them all laugh even more "So… what's the plan for this week?" Simon asked her and crossed his arms on his chest. "I go out there, nail the practices, get pole, win the race and get the fastest lap. Obviously." She stopped for a second, when she saw Max enter the motorhome, scanning the building and looking for someone "But for real I promise I'll do my best, every time I'm out on that track. And I promise to bring big points for the team. Unless someone crashes into me." She tilted her head and smiled at the Dutchman, who just joined the conversation "Moore." He sneered at her "Verstappen. You said some strong things in that interview of yours. If you're half as good on the track as you are in smack talking your teammate, then I should be scared" She gave him a pat on the shoulder and left to find Olivia.

Her day was filled with interviews, most of them with Max. And the questions she gets are the same type, either about Max or her personal life. It started to annoy her, as she gave the same prepared answers to all of them. She considers all of the drivers her competition. She has no hard feelings towards him for saying the things he said, he's allowed to have his own opinion. She doesn't plan on proving her skills to anyone other than herself. No, she's not in a relationship and doesn't plan on being in one, as she focuses on her rookie year. 

Overall she would call Thursday a success, she didn't lash out at any of his comments, gave the answers she was supposed to and kept the press at bay with the evasive answers. She went to sleep that day excited and ready to kick ass the next day.

The first practice went amazing, the hours she spent in the simulator were proving useful, she got the fastest lap, three tens ahead of Hamilton and over half a second faster than Max. She drove back and got out of the car. Olivia was already there with a bottle of water and her things. He was also there. He came back after his flying lap five minutes before she did. Christian walked into the motorhome "Good job on track today, both of you. One-four is a great score for the first time." She could see he was really proud of them. Olivia nudged her "You have a couple hours before the next practice, make sure to relax and get ready for the other session. Leah, a word" he gestured towards one of the meeting rooms.

She followed him surprised she was the one who was getting a talk, despite being on top of the times. "What is it?" He looked worried "I need you to promise me something." She repeated her earlier question "Promise me you'll try to work with Max. Before you say anything, I had this talk with him as well, he said the best he can do is promising he won't crash into you. So, I need you to be the bigger person, you don't have to directly interact with him, just pretend for the cameras and work with his engineer, okay?" She was taken aback. "I'm sorry, you said that he's not going to work with me? Did I hear that right?" She was annoyed and could see Horner was too. "Yes, that's what he said. But please try to work with him, we need this to work. The team needs the drivers to work together in order to function properly, we cannot handle another Webber-Vettel relationship here." She was dumbfounded "Did… did he give you any reasoning as to why he's not willing to work with me?" Christian shook his head, she sighed and groaned "He's starting to piss me off, he's acting like a child. And he's supposed to be the grown up here" She chuckled at her own joke "But I promise. I'll do my best to work with him." "Thank you." She could see the relief on his face as they both left the room. Olivia was waiting for her and immediately started asking about what happened.

She looked at Max and pressed her lips together, to show her disappointment in him not wanting to cooperate. He didn't even react and just stared at her as she left.

The second session went worse for her and better for him. He ended up third in the times, only behind the Mercedes duo. She was tenth after not being able to set a good flying lap due to Latifi crashing and the session getting red flagged. He gloated and tried to rub in his victory over her in her face "Did you see how the times from the second session look like?" He came up to her with a cheeky smile. She took a deep breath and smiled back at him. "I did Verstappen, the Mercedes' are looking fast, we have to work hard if we want to beat them tomorrow." He was shocked, he expected her to bite back with a comment about the first session and how time is still better than his. By two tenths. "All my data is with Simon, over there, you can give it to your engineer, maybe it will help." She looked at her phone "Well, I would love to stay and chat but I have an interview to get to. Bye" She grabbed her bag and left with Olivia. 

He didn't know what happened. She was acting differently than before. But somehow he felt hate seep through her fake niceties. It was only after she left he noticed the press watching them. Then it hit him. She was acting for the cameras. It's fine, two can play at that game. He went over to grab the data from Simon and started looking through it. He needed to beat her in qualifying. Even if it meant he'll have to play nice. 

He'll get that fucking pole. Even if it kills him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading <3 Feedback greatly appreciated as always :)


	5. You will join the silent flow, follow me, I am the spark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's quali time! The title comes from Endlessness by Nightwish, a truly amazing song that I absolutely recommend to everyone.

The last practice session was much closer than she would like. It ended with her and Max splitting the two Mercedes, but they were all within five hundreds of a second of each other. The qualifying was going to be incredibly close.

"The qualifying will come down to perfection, so we need everyone to work together" Christian looked at Max, who was whispering to one of his engineers and seemed to pay no attention to the team principal's speech. Leah rolled her eyes and kicked him under the table. He flinched and looked around, only to see her smirking and Horner staring at him annoyed. "Like I was saying, we need everyone focused and on top of their game. A single mistake can cost us the pole position. Got it?" Everyone nodded "Alright, dismissed."

She took a deep breath and walked over to Olivia, who handed her a box, containing her lunch "Oh, thank you. I ate a very small breakfast today." "I know, that's why I brought you a salad. How are you feeling about qualifying?" She was eating hastily to the point where Olivia was scared she'd choke "I think it will be fine, we can only wait. Sure, the Mercs are fast but we all expected that. They have always been fast, both Lewis and Valtteri are really good drivers" She finished her meal and headed over to grab a bottle of water. 

As she was grabbing her drink she saw a girl walk out of one of the conference rooms. She had never seen her here before, but before she could approach her from the same door emerged Max. His hair was ruffled and he looked out of breath. He walked the girl out of the motorhome and kissed her goodbye. She looked at him and shook her head, walking over to the Dutchman. "What would would your girlfriend say if he knew you were fucking around in the motorhome?" She whispered in his ear, which scared him, he wasn't expecting her to notice. He cleared his throat and shrugged "Nothing, probably just break up with me. Not much else she can do, right?" She rolled her eyes, as a thought sparked into her brain "What would the media do if an anonymous source from inside Red Bull Racing told them about the lustful adventures of the Dutchman? I'm sure there will be someone interested in such a story." She smirked, that was something he didn't want, the press and other drivers finding out about his infidelities. He would lose all the respect he worked so hard for. His talent may have been one thing, but all he really cared about was his pride. And right now she was threatening it. "Don't you dare say anything to anyone." He drawled through his teeth. "I won't say anything. Don't worry. Christian told me to play nice with you, at least in front of the cameras and I will. Because I for one can listen to what our boss says." He flipped her off as she walked back towards her friend and she blew him a kiss and winked.

Q1 went uneventfully with both of the Williams' and Alfa Romeos alongside Kevin Magnussen getting eliminated. Nothing that wasn't unexpected.

Seeing Vettel out in Q2 was… surprising , to say the least, she expected the four time world champion to put up a fight for the title this season. She was also surprised by how well Lando was doing. The young Britton was fifth in times, only behind the Mercedes' and Red Bulls.

She heard Simon on the radio tell her to head out of the garage. She waited for her mechanics to remove the tire blankets and hit the track. Her first flying lap was quite good, but she ran a bit in one of the corners, losing time. 1.03.734. Too slow. Simon told her to come back, but she ignored him and went for another lap. This time she braked perfectly and hit the corner. 1.02.921. Better than all the times earlier this weekend. Pole was hers.

She headed back to the garage and got out of the car. She saw Christian standing there, waiting for her, smiling. She looked at the times. It was her on pole, Valtteri in P-2, seventeen thousand's of second behind her. Lewis completed the top three. Max was in fourth, but his time was far away from the Britton's time, almost half a second between them. "What happened?" She pointed to the Dutchman, who was now getting out of his car, he looked down and didn't talk to anyone. "He ran wide at the same corner you did on both of his flying laps." "Fourth is still good." She shrugged "Yeah, but it's not good enough for him. And you know he hates losing. Anyway, congrats on being the youngest pole sitter ever. It's an amazing achievement. We're all really proud of you" Christian patted her on the back and left to talk to the disgruntled Max. She looked at them talk for a second, grabbed her things and left.

Back in her hotel room she called her parents, they already knew about the pole position, they always watched her races. Growing up, she watched Formula 1 with her dad, she remembers seeing Fernando Alonso win the championship in 2006 and knowing she wanted to do that. When she was five, her dad bought her a kart even though every time she got in it she could hear her mother tell him that this was a wrong decision and she's going to get hurt.

Twelve years later, she was there, in Austria, on the Red Bull Ring. Waiting to fight for the world championship in 2020. She felt ready as never before, that Saturday night. She knew that decision she made as a child, to go out and drive, was the best decision she could have ever made. She knew all her life she would have to fight, because she was young, because she was successful and because she wasn't a man.

And her fight has only begun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Next up is the race! We'll see how that goes. Any and all feedback greatly appreciated as well as suggestions for anything <3


	6. Skies are turning red, it's a beautiful day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh wow 140 hits? In two days? Now that's something I never imagined. Anyway, it's race time and I hope you enjoy <3 Chapter title comes from Let's Dance by Delain.

Getting into her race suit on Sunday was giving her a feeling like never before. A mixture of fear and confidence as well as a desire to beat them all. She called her parents just to hear their voice. "We're both really proud of you Leah. Promise us you'll be careful out there, okay?" "I promise. How is Lambert doing?" The cat meowed at the mention of his name, which resulted in a laugh from all of them. "How is Marcus? He's still not talking to us." Marcus. Her brother. Most of the days she forgot about him, but every now and then someone reminded her of him and all the painful memories came back. 

He was five years older than her and always jealous of everything she had. He also loved racing, but was impulsive and took too many risks. He has been karting for three years more than her, but has never gotten a podium. After her first victory in karting he stopped talking to her for a week. After she was picked up by ART Grand Prix to compete in the 2017 GP3 series, he pretended not to know her for a year.

Then he ran away. Every now and then he would come home, spend a week with them and then leave. He never left any contact info, but she still got his number, after he got drunk one time. She tried calling him, but even if he picked up, she probably wouldn't know what to say. 

"He's not talking to me either. If you reach him, please let him know that I'm worried about him and that he should call me back, okay? I got to go now, I love you." She hung up the call before they had a chance to say anything else, grabbed her things and left the hotel room.

She could feel how tense the atmosphere in the motorhome was. Everyone was nervous before the race. People were walking back and forth with wheels and parts. She made her way over to Olivia and sat down next to her. "Quite a stir here today." She nodded, it was very busy around and she wished she could help, but since she's not a mechanic, her assistance wouldn't be of help to anyone. 

She watched Max enter the motorhome. With a girl. To her surprise it was a different girl than the previous day, still not his girlfriend. She crossed her arms and shook her head. He noticed that and flipped her off, she returned the gesture. Olivia rolled her eyes. "What are you two children arguing about now?" They both chuckled. "Oh, it's nothing. I mean it's something, but I promised not to tell. And I always keep my promises." "Fine, don't tell me. I'll figure it out myself." She smirked and looked at the clock. 14:50. "Lee, we have to go. The anthem is starting in five minutes." She looked at her phone "Shit. Alright let's go." She got up and tapped Max on the shoulder. He gave the girl a long kiss and ignored Leah. "I don't mean to separate you two lovebirds, but we have a job to do. The anthem is starting in five minutes, Verstappen." He immediately stopped and looked at his watch. She was right. "Fuck. I'll see you later?" The girl nodded "Great. Let's go, Moore." 

They ran out of the motorhome and saw all the other drivers standing around, waiting for the Austrian anthem to play. The Red Bull drivers shuffled into the crowd, trying to avoid attention. "I don't think anyone noticed we're late." She whispered to her teammate, who in response nodded and put his finger up to his mouth. The anthem finished and everyone moved back to the cars. 

Formation lap. Lining up on the grid. One light. Two. Three. Four. Five. Lights out. She got off to a good start, running away from the Mercedes. After ten laps she asks for the positions. It's her, leading the race with Bottas in second and Hamilton in third. "What about Verstappen?" "P-5. Behind Norris. But he's having problems with power." That was not good news. If he's having problems with power, so could she, they had the same cars after all. Lap fifteen she gets another message. "Max is retiring. Too many problems." That's really bad. An early retirement means less points for the team.

"And, safety car. Safety car. Box box, confirm." It's about lap 30. Since she's in front, she didn't see what happened. "Confirm, box box. What happened? How many out?" "Four out. Max, Ricciardo, Stroll and Magnussen, who's just gone off. That's why the safety car is being deployed." She drives into the pitlane for a tyre change, the mechanics are great, she's stationary for less then two seconds. She gets out in front of everyone, keeping her lead. The safety car goes back to the pitlane and she runs away from the pack again. After about 10 laps through came another message. "Both Mercedes have been instructed to avoid kerbs, they're having gearbox problems." "That's good for us. Do I push?" "Negative, there's still 30 laps left, we'll push at the end. Hold position."

She saw the yellow flags being waved around. Again. "Fuck this race is a mess. What happened now?" "We're just checking, standby." Silence. Her stress levels were sky high. "Okay, so we confirmed. Grosjean crashed and Russell is also out. That's six drivers out now. Safety car is coming out, so watch out at the restart. The Mercedes have been given the green light to push after the safety car." "Copy." She slowed down behind the silver Mercedes and waited for the Haas to get cleaned up of the track. 

"Safety car in this lap. In this lap. Prepare to push." She gripped the steering wheel tighter. "Copy." The lights on the Mercedes in front went out and the flags were switched to green. She stepped on the throttle as she moved into turn 1. She could see Bottas in her rearview mirror and tried to run away from him. Her car was better in the turns, whilst his gained on the straights. The gap between all three of them was getting shorter with each lap.

When she saw the yellow flags and the LED boards with the letters "SC" on them for the third time, she just shook her head. "What is it now?" "Räikönnen's tire just came off, they have to clean it up. Again, beware of the Mercedes. Right now behind you is Lewis. 1.5 seconds. But he's going to be much closer with the safety car." She knew that. He didn't have to say it. "Yup, got it." Her reply was 

The safety car went in and she pushed on the throttle, but locked up into turn 1, which resulted in Hamilton overtaking her. She tried to attack him but failed and got herself thrown into gravel. "What the fuck is he doing?! He just crashed into me, what the fuck mate?" She yelled on the radio. "Okay, yeah we saw. They're looking at it, just come back if you can." She drove back onto the circuit, falling down to twelfth place. "There's no fucking point, the car is broken. We should retire." She was mad, but mostly disappointed at how the race was going. "Confirm, Leah. Box for retirement. Box for retirement. I'm so sorry." She sighed and turned into the pitlane. 

"He should get a penalty. If they let him off with nothing…" She turned to the screen, the top was Bottas, Hamilton, Leclerc, Perez and Norris. At the top of the screen a notification appeared. Two penalties. For Hamilton and for Perez. Both 5 seconds that would be served after the race. Just as the race was coming to an end Kvyat's car got a puncture, which took him out. That was the ninth DNF of the race.

"Valtteri Bottas wins the 2020 Austrian Grand Prix, with Charles Leclerc in second and Lando Norris taking his maiden podium! What a day has it been here in Austria! Three safety car sessions, penalties at the very end!" She listened to the commentator's excited talk as the podium ceremonies began. She was frustrated. It was supposed to be her up there, holding that trophy and drinking the champagne. She could see Max was as angry as she was. They were both quiet in the debrief after the race. She knew that the team was disappointed. Finishing the season opening without points was a very low point.

Now, it was on

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, this was the longest chapter yet. As always, feedback is greatly appreciated. <3


	7. You can't take yourself too far, remember who you are

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aight, it's a break in between weekends. Styria comes next. Chapter title comes from The Deviant Hearts by Phantasma.

After the race she locked herself in her room in the hotel in Austria. She didn't plan on leaving it till Thursday as she felt the days pass by.

Monday. She still couldn't believe it. He stole that podium from her. It was hers. She almost had it. She wanted to do unspeakable things to him. It was 100% his wrongdoing. He should have given her space. This was not her fault in any way.

Tuesday. Maybe she was at fault? She could have braked later. Did she turn into him? The stewards ruled it in her favor, declaring him as the one guilty for causing the collision, which in result cost him the podium, but still… She felt dissatisfied with the outcome of the weekend.

Wednesday. The world could go fuck itself for all she cared. Her mind was filled with that one moment. She threw herself into a workout, to try and clear her head. It backfired. Olivia came by to check on her, visibly concerned. "How many times did you watch the incident?" "Stopped counting after 200." She was exercising whilst watching the replay. Again. And again. And again. 

Her friend tried to help her, as much as she could. "Lee, this is not healthy. This is not the way you should deal with this. Let's go out. They're throwing a party for Lando. Everyone is invited. Well, not everyone. Most drivers." She put down the weights and stopped the video. "Is it a good idea to go to a party during a pandemic?" They both chuckled. "It's actually just a dinner party. They're going to a restaurant and just sitting down and talking." She thought about it for a second. "I don't think it's a good idea. I feel like I would just drag the mood down. Also, I don't know anything about them all! What would we talk about?" Her friend rolled her eyes. "That's not true. You played F1 2019 with Lando, Charles and George all the time in quarantine. You also drove with them in F2. You'll be fine. And if things turn to shit, you can always talk to Max." They laughed as Leah walked up to her closet. "There is a dress I've been wanting to wear. And going out would probably lift my spirits. Aight, I'll go. But only if you go with me." "Sounds like a deal."

They both got dressed and did their make up, before deciding on Leah driving to the restaurant. Since she wasn't 18 yet for another few weeks, she wasn't drinking and got chosen as the designated driver. When they turned up to the restaurant they saw the place had been reserved for the night and quite a few people were there already.

Max had his back against a wall and was talking to Daniel when he saw her come in. He didn't expect her to show up after her self-inflicted quarantine, especially not looking like that. She was wearing a gorgeous blue dress that reached her knees and twirled around when she walked. "Mate, you good?" The Aussie waved before his face, bringing him back to reality. "Who got you stari- oh it's Leah. We should call her over here. Don't you think?" The Dutchman pulled away from the wall. "What? No! Absolutely not! You know I hate her. Do not call her over here." Too late. Daniel was already waving at the two Americans who just entered, gesturing towards them to come to them. "Verstappen. You look… decent? No, that's too strong. Appropriate for the situation." She narrowed her eyes and smirked at him. "And you're overdressed. Making a show of yourself again? This isn't the race, there is no press, you don't have to fake anything." He fired back at her. "I think the only ones faking things around here are your girlfriends, Verstappen." She blew him a kiss and left to find Lando. He stood there, in shock, not expecting her to bite back at him like this.

The party went fairly well, all things pandemic considered. It was a good feeling to finally get out, between people. She tried to avoid Lewis, as to not make those unspeakable things she thought about come true. Instead she spent her evening with the Ferrari drivers, who looked pretty strong after the first weekend. After a while, Valtteri, Kimi and a few others joined them, the conversation swiftly shifting to anecdotes from previous years. And for a brief, fleeting moment, they all weren't rivals, they were just a group of people, hanging out, and if she could she would hold that moment forever. But alas, all good things must come to an end, and so did that one night, where competition stopped and friendship sprung. 

Well, except for her relationship with her teammate.

For all she knew, he hated her for no apparent reason. Fine two can play at that game. She decided she was no longer going to be the "bigger person" and "perfect teammate". If he can be an asshole towards her, who is she to not return the favor.

When she got back to her hotel room, changed out of that dress - which she saw caught his eyes - took a shower and removed her makeup. She grabbed her phone and texted her mom, telling her to call her later, forgetting she's about 9 hours ahead, and what for her is 2 a.m. is actually around dinner time back at home. She then opened up her conversation with Max. The only messages were the one she sent in anger back in March after she found out about the interview and his thumbs up. Just looking at it made her blood pressure rise. She typed out a message, pressed send, switched off her phone and went to sleep. She didn't care about his response, she decided to deal with it in the morning.

He was sitting on his bed, scrolling through Instagram when he saw a notification for a message. From her. "I decided to break my promise to Christian. I'm no longer interested in being nice to you, even in front of the cameras. It's war now." And then a few seconds later a follow-up message appeared on the screen "ps. I saw how you were looking at me this evening. Mind wanna stop the staring till I'm 18." He smirked at the messages. Good, they were finally on equal terms. He felt as if he could at last fight with her for real and not pretend he wasn't going to be her biggest enemy.

And he wasn't planning on losing this war

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And it's time for interviews and practice soon. As always feedback would be greatly appreciated. <3


	8. I don't need anyone or anything, I'll make it alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And it's Thursday/Friday time in Styria! Let's see how this goes. Title from Generation Me by Delain.

She felt 100% ready as the weekend was approaching and she was ready to face it head on. The party definitely helped in lifting her spirits as she felt much better on Thursday then she did on any of the days before. The spring in her step was back, as she made her way to the motorhome. She grabbed two coffees on the way and handed one to her friend, who, to no one's surprise, was already there. "Do you like, sleep here, or something? Or do you just get up at an ungodly hour?" They laughed as the time passed and they waited for the press and rest of the team to arrive.

The team track walks started at 9, but he didn't really feel like getting out of bed. He drank a bit too much at Lando's party and his head was pounding like hell. He got up to take some painkillers and got dressed. He made his way to the motorhome, "At least the weather is nice." He muttered to himself. The 25 degrees were in fact very nice, but he could see dark clouds roll, which wasn't a good sign. He looked at the forecast for Saturday. Rain. He knew he wasn't as strong in the rain as he was on a dry track, but as the day passed and so did the clouds, lifting a weight off his chest. "Maybe it won't rain after all." He tried to convince himself.

The press conference went well, as usual, all drivers were questioned, in their respective teams, keeping the required distance and wearing masks. This was ideal for her, she got smirk at him however much she wanted and no one would even notice. But sitting far away from him also meant she couldn't "accidentally" kick him under the table.

The questions were the worst part of the interview, as they both got asked how it feels to not bring any points, at the opening race of the season, on their own track. She wanted to say something, but he cut her off before she could fully formulate the sentence in her head. "I think it's embarrassing, honestly. It's a shame we both didn't finish, but some things, like mechanical failures, cannot be avoided. Others, like crashing out, though. Easily avoidable." He paid her a side glance as he tried to call her out. She cleared her throat and responded to the question. "I agree with my teammate that it's embarrassing to not score any points in a home race. It's true. It's a horrible feeling for all of us, but I think we should just focus on nailing all the races ahead of us, instead of dwelling on what could have happened differently on a race earlier in the season." The journalist nodded as he wrote down her answer. A voice from further in the room could be heard."Any comments on what Max just said? About the crash being avoidable?" She rolled her eyes and shrugged. "He can say whatever he needs to, to make himself feel better about losing. I, however, am just planning on beating his ass in the qualifying, and later on in the race. Thank you very much." 

After finishing her statement she got up and left, not wanting to receive any follow-up questions about Max. Some of the people in the media have noticed that both of them aren't using each other's names and are referring to the other by the last name or simply as "teammate". She has been doing that on purpose, feeling that using his name would add, a sort of, intimacy to the relationship. From how it looked he felt the same way. Both of them were content with keeping the relationship where it was.

First practice went uneventfully with only one brief pause, when one of the Williams stopped with gearbox problems. She finished her best lap second, only behind a surprisingly fast Perez in the Racing Point, but the margin between them was of a minimal caliber. She knew where she made mistakes and planned on dominating the second session. Right behind her finished Verstappen, with the Silver Arrows not far behind.

The second practice went much better, the team managed to get the engine mode settings perfectly and the session was pure joy. The two Red Bulls dominated the session, leaving the Mercedes' in third and seventh. She was second, again, this time behind her own teammate. She didn't like being behind him, but it was better than being behind the Mercedes. Still, she knew she would be able to beat them all in qualifying. Her pace on single timed laps was inspiring. She wasn't very happy about the Racing Points, who managed to place themselves in fourth and fifth. They were looking much stronger than in the week before, but her biggest concern and competition was Max.

When they got out of the cars, she could see how smug he looked, yet he came up to her and reached out to shake her hand. She hesitated for a second, but reciprocated the gesture, squeezing his palm as tight as she could. "Smile for the camera." He whispered to her with one of those cheeky smiles of his. She smiled back and let go off his hand. She patted him on the shoulder and leaned over to his ear. "Good luck at qualifying tomorrow, you're going to need a lot of it Verstappen." 

He was surprised at how intimate the interaction was. It was kind of nothing, just a whisper into his ear, but still, it fueled him with more emotions than he could describe. He could feel hatred towards her seep through him, but there was also something else. Something... not so negative. "No, no, this can't be right." He thought to himself as he tried to get the feeling of her so close to his face, saying his name, out of his mind. He couldn't feel anything towards her. Anything other than hatred.

It was the only way to win this war.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please stay safe and wear your masks. Health first. <3 Feel free to give me any and all feedback you can, it really helps out a lot.


	9. Don't fall down now, this is a start

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my, 250 hits? In the first week? I never imagined a number like that! Thank you for sticking around with my bullshit. Anyway, it's quali time, yay! Title from Crystalline by Amaranthe.

The weather was horrible, it was pouring rain and she knew this was going to make everything so much more difficult. Her alarm rang for the third time and with a groan she got out of bed. She put on her race suit, grabbed her umbrella and headed out. It was getting worse with every minute and she realized how difficult the last practice session and qualifying would be, if they would happen at all.

"I fucking hate this. They should let us drive in the rain, I don't care it's dangerous." For once he could agree with her. The rain didn't stop and only got worse as the day went on. The final practice was delayed, so they were all just sitting around in the garage, waiting for confirmation about cancelation of the session. Luckily the rain was passing on and the qualifying would probably be happening on schedule. Horner approached the drivers. "This is terrible. We needed this session. Especially if we're going to have to have a wet race. We need you to collect as much data as you can in qualifying. Got it?" They both nodded and looked at each other. They were both determined to get pole, but they knew they had to work together to get the best results for the team. After the previous week's failure they needed to get a lot of points to catch up to Mercedes in the championship. The stakes were high.

Q1. She was sitting in her car waiting. Radio message. "The rain is back, we will give you a 10 minute warning. For now you are free to get out of the car." "For fuck's sake." She just wanted to get out on track and have it all behind. 15.05. Nothing. 15.10. Still nothing. 15.15. 15.20. 15.30. Still waiting. The pressure was killing her. She could see she wasn't the only one. Max was fidgeting with his nails, visibly frustrated. She walked up to him. "We will have to talk at one point, you know? People might get suspicious if we don't." He looked at her, his eyes darker than usual. "I don't have a problem with talking to you, it's just that you're not a very fun conversational partner." She rolled her eyes. "Oh wow. Boring. Is that really the best insult you can come up with? Come on Verstappen, show me what you got." She pushed him on the shoulder playfully. He wanted to get back at her, but was interrupted by Christian. "We got the time from the stewards. Ten minutes. Go to your cars." 

Finally, Q1. Uneventful. Someone went wide. Someone spun. All normal in rain. Then it happened. She was running a flying lap, better than all others, she got in a rhythm and nailed all of the braking points. Then she saw the flags. Red. Someone crashed. "Okay, an Alfa Romeo just spun and they're cleaning it up. Come back to the pit." "Will I have time for another lap?" Her first one wasn't quite good and they needed to run as many laps as possible, to get the data. "Negative, there's only a few seconds on the clock, but you are P-11, so we're through." She sighed with relief and pulled over to the pitlane.

Q2 went well. She finally managed to get a good lap in and was running third, behind Hamilton and Verstappen. Both of them were stronger than her in the rain and it was showing. Her best time was half a second behind Max, whilst his time was under a tenth of a second from Hamilton's. "Alright and that's the chequered flag. Eliminated in Q1: Raikkonen, Perez, Latifi, Giovinazzi and Grosjean. Eliminated in Q2: Leclerc, Russell, Stroll, Kvyat and Magnussen." Both Racing Points were out. That was finally some good news. They were too close for comfort in the practice. 

Q3. The final part of qualifying. The most nerve wracking one. She grabbed her steering wheel tightly and pushed. She wanted to set a time as soon as possible, with the rain coming back onto the circuit. 1.20.521. Not good enough for pole, but it's the best she could push. "Leah, do you think you can go faster, or do we pit? It's your decision." She hesitated for a second before responding. "I think that's it, Simon. I don't think I can push anymore and every lap is going to be more difficult, the track is horribly wet." She sighed. She'd love to go for another lap, but strategically it didn't make any sense. "Alright. So we'll box for the session. Box for the session. Confirm?" She confirmed on the radio and turned into the pitlane.

After parking the car she got out and looked at the standings. She was first at the time, but with Lewis and Max still on their out laps, she was sure she wasn't staying on provisional pole for long. They started their timed laps and claimed places in front of her, first Max, with a time only faster by 0.032 of a second. Lewis however was in an entirely different zone, getting a time more than a second faster and claiming pole. "How did he do that?" She couldn't believe it, he was so much faster than everyone else. This was the first time she really experienced the sheer power the Mercedes cars could produce. Still, P-2, P-3 was a really good result for the team. 

P-2. Even with how much he pushed, he wasn't able to go faster. The Mercedes were absolutely destructive. He looked at the times. Almost a second and a half between him and the Britton. This wasn't good. He wasn't good. He needed to be better if he was going to beat her. He needed to be better than her. He couldn't be worse than a girl. A girl he felt absolutely nothing towards. Nothing, except for pure hate.

She wanted that win. 

And he wasn't going to let her have it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really appreciate everyone who kept up with this fic, I promise, the smut is coming, and soon. As always feedback would be greatly appreciated. <3 Stay safe everyone.


	10. There's nowhere to go, your head's on the line

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Race day in Styria. As always, thank you for the support, to everyone who stuck around with this fic. Title from Murder by Within Temptation.

Going into the race on Sunday, she felt as ready as ever. Gone was the shrivel of doubt and fear she felt since the race in the previous week. And gone were also clouds and a chance of a wet race. This was great news as she felt much stronger at a dry track. Walking into the garage, she felt the confidence surge throughout her. Starting from P-3 was quite good, looking at the fact this was only her second race in Formula 1. Once in the base she immediately got grabbed, surprising the hell out of her. "Where were you? We were all worried. Well, not all. I was. What happened?" Olivia's gaze was fixated on her. "Nothing happened, we still have a lot of time, it's 11 a.m. and the race starts at 3 p.m. what's gone into you? Are you okay?" Leah looked at her friend, confused as ever. "No, I'm not okay! You didn't tell me he was going to be here! I didn't even know you guys were talking again!" "Who are you talking ab-" She stopped in the middle of the word. She saw him looking at her. She knew those eyes all too well. Her brother, Marcus. In the paddock, talking with Max, this could only end in tragedy. 

She ran across the garage to them only to hear them laugh about something. "Moore, how lovely of you to join us. I want you to meet my new PR manager, since you stole mine. Moore this is" "Marcus." All three said his name at the same time, only the sound that escaped from her lips sounded cold and was full of poison. She crossed her arms on her chest and looked at her brother. "Wait, you know each other?" None of them answered as they both stared at the other. "Will anyone tell me what's happening?" She looked at him with such anger in her eyes, he got scared for a second. "Stay. The. Fuck. Out. Of. This. Verstappen." She grinded out at him in a tone that he never heard from her before. He decided to go to Olivia, who was watching the whole situation from the side, looking terrified.

Her breath was shallow and her heart rate was through the roof. "Marcus." "Leah." She circled him. He did the same. They looked like two wild animals about to jump forward and attack. Everyone in the garage stopped what they were doing and watched with excitement. "Is the restraining order over? Has it been 3 years already? Seems I'm not the only one beating records here. Why did you come back?" He stopped and opened his arms. "Come on Lee, this is how you welcome your big brother? And in front of your new friends? You know, me and your new friend Max bonded quite nicely before you came up and ruined the fun. Not nice." "He's not my friend. And neither are you. You shouldn't be here. Or are you here because you want to repeat what happened in 2017?" Max leaned over to Olivia. "What happened in 2017?" He looked genuinely interested and excited, of course he would be, this was about Leah. "She got picked up by ART GP to drive in GP3 and won, despite being only 15 when the championship ended. He was so mad that they chose her and not him that he snuck up and destroyed her car when no one was looking. It almost cost her the championship." Max was shocked, he never expected something like this.

She closed the distance between them and looked down at him. Despite being younger, she was always taller than him and it pissed him off so much. She then smiled and pulled him into a hug. Everyone who gathered around the siblings gasped in surprise. "I missed you, you fucking idiot." She broke away from the hug and pushed him on the shoulder. "I missed you too, you boring bitch." "No, but really, what are you doing here?" Marcus adjusted his mask on his face. "Like Max said, I'm his new PR manager." She looked at him in disbelief. "You? You got an actual job? In PR? Marcus, I'm so proud of you!" She pulled him into another hug. "Did you tell mom and dad already?" He nodded. "They said they're not going to tell you and that I should surprise you at work." They both laughed and went along with their jobs, him going to talk to the press and her getting towards her car, however before she could get to it, she was stopped by no one other than her teammate.

"What the fuck was that sham, Moore?" She blinked at him, innocently. "I don't know what you're talking about, you don't welcome your siblings like that?" She giggled and kept walking only to be stopped again. "You're acting very differently, I don't recognize you. I've never heard you giggle before." She jerked herself away. "You can't say I've changed. You don't even know me. See you on the track, Verstappen." Her tone was cold and he knew he overstepped there. Before he had a chance to say anything else she stepped on his foot and left.

Lining up on the grid she only had one thing on her mind. Victory. It was all that mattered to her. She wanted that win and would stop at nothing to get it. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. Lights out. She stepped on the throttle and tried to maneuver herself in front of Max, but she was unsuccessful. In her rearview mirror she saw Valtteri overtake a McLaren as the Finn got dangerously close to her. After a few attempts she managed to defend her position as she noticed the yellow flags being waved and the safety car being deployed. "The two Ferraris have crashed, we think Vettel is out." She heard Simon inform her. She appreciated him telling her all about the situation, without her needing to ask. The safety car came back into the pitlane and she immediately attacked her teammate, this time getting ahead.

She stayed in second for about 30 laps, moving up into first after Hamilton pitted, her tires were still holding and she wasn't planning on giving up her place easily. Eventually, she had to pit for a tyre change, which put her back behind Verstappen. He pitted a couple of laps before her. 

The rest of the race went along uneventfully. Lewis managed to run away from everyone with his incredible pace. How he did it was still a mystery to her, but she was in the top three and it was all that mattered. All she needed to do is defend from Valtteri for the next few laps.

She did it.

She couldn't believe it. It was there, right there, before her eyes. A chequered flag. And she was in third place. She was yelling on the radio. This was unbelievable. Her second race. And a podium. With Red Bull. Going out to the podium ceremonies she was still in shock. She was handed the trophy and looked at the bottle of champagne in front of her. Then she realized. She wasn't allowed to drink it.

Not for another few days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked the chapter, it came out a bit longer than I expected, but still, we got it. Next weekend is Hungary, yay, but firstly a little break. Feedback greatly appreciated <3.


	11. Someday I'll learn to love these scars, still fresh from the red-hot blade of your words

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And it's another party, as we await the Hungarian GP. The title comes from Bye Bye Beautiful by Nightwish. (Amazing song, but so are all the others I take titles from tbh (I should probably make a playlist it this point hah)) 
> 
> WARNING: this chapter contains adult themes.

The aftershock didn't hit her till Monday. She got a podium. In Formula 1. On her second ever race. It was an incredible feeling. She didn't even care she finished behind him, all that mattered to her was that fucking podium. It was hers and it felt better than she could ever imagine. 

On Tuesday it all seemed more real. The podium and the fact she was turning 18 the next day. She would be able to drink the champagne after her next podiums and not just stand there, spilling it out on everyone. She packed all of her things and went to the airport to catch her flight to Hungary.

Wednesday. Her birthday. Eighteenth. She woke up to the sound of someone knocking on her hotel room door. She got up and opened it. It was Marcus. "Dad always says to get the most unpleasant part of the day done as early as possible, so here I am." He handed her a bag. She smiled and looked inside it. It was a bunch of her favorite sweets from America as well as a bottle of wine and a plushie dinosaur. "Wait. I recognize this. Is it… No. There's no way!" Both of them were smiling as she grabbed the dinosaur out of the bag. "It's him! It's really him! I can't believe you got me my Schumacher!" They both laughed. "And I can't believe you call it that." "It's a red dinosaur, how else am I supposed to call it? Thank you. This is the most incredible gift you could have gotten me." He patted her on the shoulder. "Right, I'll be going. Max arrives today and I have to make sure he doesn't embarrass himself on live television." They laughed again. "Good luck with that. Meanwhile I will be going back to sleep."

Her alarm rang and she got up from her bed, for the second time this morning. She put on a black dress and heels and made her way down to the lobby. There were not many people around, which made sense, most drivers either haven't arrived yet, were on their way or just got there. She grabbed a plate and made her way to the buffet. On her way there, she saw a few men turn their heads to look at her. She felt as confident as ever and was happy she wore that dress. 

He, on the other hand, was not so happy with her outfit choice.

He was sitting at a table with Daniel when he saw her come in, causing him to almost drop his fork, as his eyes followed her, wide with shock. "Who got speechless like that, mate?" He turned around to look in the direction Max was staring at. "Oh. Leah, should have guessed, at this point." The Dutchman looked at him. "What do you mean?" Daniel rolled his eyes. "Mate, you're obsessed with the girl. You may not see it, but I do. All you do is talk about her." Max tried to say something, but saw she was coming over to their table. "Oh no." That was all he managed to say before she got close. "Hey guys, can I sit with you?" She asked looking more at Daniel for confirmation. "Sure, go ahead." Daniel smiled and gestured towards the chair next to Max. 

"Verstappen, you look… quite good today, I'm impressed. Good job." She sat down next to him and started eating. "Thanks, you look like a whore." She choked on her food a bit, not expecting such a comment. She thought for a second and came up with a response. "So, Daniel. You've been his teammate, tell me, is he always such an asshole to people, or is it only on their birthdays?" She gave her teammate a fake smile, as his face turned red. "I- I didn't know it was your birthday. I'm sorry." He kept his head down and continued eating, trying to get out of the very uncomfortable situation. She won that round. She finished her food first and got up to grab a coffee. Max looked at his friend, who was desperately trying not to laugh. "What's so funny, man?" The Aussie now had to put his hand over his mouth in order to not laugh out loud, in front of the entire restaurant. "You called her… a whore… on her birthday… mate, that's not how you get girls to like you." Max kicked him under the table, as she came back, with coffee in one hand and a wine glass in the other. "Woah, isn't it a little bit early for wine?" Daniel looked concerned. "I know it's your first day into adulthood, but you don't have to try everything immediately." She rolled her eyes and took a sip of her coffee. "Yeah, what are you going to try next? Hard drugs? Smoking?" Max smiled at his own joke. Daniel moved his hand around his neck, gesturing to him to stop. She rolled her eyes again, but smiled a little. She finished her coffee, grabbed the wine glass and went back to her room.

Olivia was already in there, waiting. "Oh my god, do you have my wine?" She nodded, handing her the glass. "What took you so long?" She smiled a bit. "I had breakfast with Verstappen and Dan. It was fun, he called me a whore at one point, though. Not very nice." Olivia almost spat out her wine. "Daniel Ricciardo called you a whore?" She laughed at the misunderstanding. "No, he would never. Verstappen did." Her friend sighed and finished her drink. "You're still refusing to acknowledge the fact he has a name, I see." They both laughed and went through their clothes, as they prepared for the upcoming birthday party they were throwing for her, that evening.

It was all perfect. Her dress. Her hair. Her makeup. The restaurant. It all looked lovely and she felt as if it was all just a part of a dream, but no. This was really happening. Her eighteenth birthday. With her fellow Formula 1 drivers. 

All of them looked very differently than they did normally. This was the first time she's seen them in suits. Her heart sped up a bit, when she saw Max, she didn't even know why. It's not like she liked him, right? No, no, she hated him. That's one of the only things she was sure about. 

Going into the restaurant she invited them all to, he was… nervous to say the least. His heart was beating fast and his hands were shaking, causing him to grip tighter around the bottle of wine he got for her. He looked around the room and noticed her. She looked perfect. He didn't know whether he hated it or loved it. He walked up to her, mumbled some birthday wishes, handed her the gift and went to grab some alcohol. He wasn't planning on dealing with her sober.

"I think you went a bit too far on the drinks, Lee." Olivia, who was supposed to be the one who would control her, was equally drunk, but so was everyone around. Except for maybe Kimi, but she wasn't expecting him to be a party animal exactly. Looking around the room, she saw Max looking at her, his eyes darker than ever. She smiled, walked towards him and put her hands on his shoulders. "We should dance, come on!" He put his hands on her waist, as they made their way to the dance floor. She didn't realize that with every step, she moved herself closer to him, resulting in her resting her head on his chest by the time the song ended. She looked up at him and knew they were thinking the same thing. "327. Be there in five minutes." She whispered softly into his ear, planted a kiss on his cheek and quickly made her way to her room, leaving him stranded on the dance floor, as he waited for the five longest minutes of his life to pass.

Going up to her room, she couldn't believe it. Was she really going to do that? With him, of all people? If she wasn't blackout drunk, she would never even consider this. She got up to her door, opened it and immediately went to the bathroom. Her face was sweaty and her makeup wasn't as flawless as it was a few hours before. She washed her face and tried to fix it a bit before he arrived. It didn't help much, but she felt a bit better with herself. She went to her bedroom and tried to clean it a bit before he arrived. The first thing she did was grabbing the red dinosaur and putting it away into her closet. "I'm sorry Schumacher, you're sitting this one out." She finished tiding up, when she heard knocking. He was there.

She opened the door and pulled him inside. His hands immediately went to the zipper of her dress as she kissed him all over his neck. She stepped out of the dress and helped him unbutton his shirt. She grabbed his hand and led him to the bed. He pushed her onto the matress and started unbuckling his pants. Her breathing was shallow and her heart was pounding. "Get on your knees." His tone was demanding, turning her on even more. She wasn't planning on giving in easily. "Make me." He smirked and grabbed her by her waist, pulling her up to her knees. 

"Do you know how to… you know?" He looked at her, embarrassed a little, he forgot she only just turned eighteen. "Yes, this is not my first time, Verstappen." He blinked in shock. He didn't expect that. 

She pushed his boxers down, letting his half hard cock out. She heard him mutter something in Dutch as she started planting kisses all over his length. He grabbed her hair and pushed her head down onto him, causing her to yell something, which was muffled by his skin in her mouth. He didn't expect her to be that good. She smiled and looked up at him. "You're an asshole. I hate you." He smirked and repeated his gesture, this time holding her longer. She gasped when he pulled away. "I want you inside of me. Now." He smirked at her. "Beg." She blinked at him. "You heard me. Beg." She grinded her teeth. Did she want to get what she wanted, or did she want to keep her pride and not yield? She laid down on her back and spread her legs. She hooked her thumbs around her underwear and slowly pushed it down. She unclasped her bra and took it off. She smirked at him. His eyes dark with lust as he waited for her answer.

"Fuck me, Verstappen." She moaned his name softly. It was all he needed. He put on a condom and lined himself up with her entrance. She gasped when she felt his tip graze her centre. With one thrust he pushed himself in, causing her to cry out obscenities. He smirked and steadied his movements, his thrusts rhythmic. He grabbed her thighs, digging his nails into her skin. He leaned over to her neck, leaving kisses and marks along her collar bone. The room was filled with his grunts, her moans and the sound of skin hitting against skin. She felt his movements become more erratic as he chased his high. She felt a warmth pool up in her stomach. "Fuck, Max, I'm coming." She moaned his name into his ear, that was enough to push him over the edge, as they both came. He got up and went to the bathroom to clean himself up, as she laid on her bed. She couldn't believe it.

She had sex with Max Verstappen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, smut. Took a while, didn't it? The chapter came out much longer than I expected, but whoops. As always feedback on anything greatly appreciated.


	12. Maybe we should know better, deep inside

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Needed a little break to not burn myself out. Anyway, it's Hungary time. Title from Make it Better by Amaranthe.

He woke up with a splitting headache and the feeling of the whole room spinning. A room that was definitely not his own. He looked around and saw her, laying on the bed next to him and suddenly remembered everything that happened the previous night. He moved around, causing her to wake up with a groan. 

Her headache was even worse than his. It was the first time she drank alcohol and she definitely drank too much. She stretched and flinched when her hand touched his shoulder. She looked at him as the memories of their encounter came flooding back to her. "What are you doing here? I thought you left." He frowned at the sound of her voice, which was way louder than he would prefer. "First of all, good morning to you too. Second of all, speak down, there's no need to yell. Third, where do you keep painkillers?" She gestured towards the closet. "They should be somewhere at the top shelf."

He got up, walked over to the closet and opened the door. Her head almost exploded when he started laughing. "What is this? I knew you were young but I didn't expect plushies." He pulled the red dinosaur out of the closet, causing her to gasp, get up and try to grab it. He stretched his hand up, getting it just out of her reach. "Give me back my Schumacher." He laughed more. "You called it Schumacher? How old were you?" She rolled her eyes at him. "It was 2006, I was 4. Now give him back." She stood on her toes and tried to reach it but her fingers were just shy of his hand and she fell forward onto him, as she lost . He dropped the toy and caught her, pulling her close. She chuckled and looked up at him. They looked each other in the eye and for a second she felt safe and loved in his embrace. For that moment nothing else mattered to her. She pulled him closer and kissed him. Her heart was beating fast and every nerve in her body told her to stop, as she let herself get lost in his touch. They were interrupted by a knock. 

She broke away from the kiss and walked towards the door. Before she got the chance to get close, it flew open and her brother walked in. He had a look of panic on his face, one she's never seen before. "Have you seen Max? He has an interview in like 30 minutes and I can't find him anywhere. He's not in his room, he's not in the restaurant, he's not on the-" She put her hand on his mouth. "You're being very loud and I have a headache. No, I haven't seen Max, since the party last night, but if I see him I promise to tell him you're looking for him, okay?" She talked slowly and quietly. "You called him Max. I've never heard you call him by his name before." She tried to stay calm despite the growing feeling of unnerve inside her. "Go, you need to find him." She pushed her brother out of the door, feeling she was about to say something she would regret.

She sighed and walked back to the bed, where Max was sitting down, putting on his clothes from the day before. She looked at him and chuckled. "Are you sure you want to turn up late to an interview, in a creased suit you wore yesterday? People will ask questions." She grabbed a bag from the closet. "You left this in Austria." She threw it to him. It was full of his clothes. He looked at her with a look of thanks on his face. "Don't thank me, thank Olivia. I would have burned it the first chance I'd get. Make sure no one sees you on your way out." He nodded, got up and headed towards the door. Her voice stopped him as he grabbed the handle. "Oh, one more thing. If you mention this to anyone, even Daniel, I swear to God, I will hunt you down." She stared at him with a cold look as he froze in the middle of his step. He smiled and blew her a kiss. "Love you too babe."

He could barely focus on the questions that he was asked. His mind kept wandering back to the previous night. Her body underneath his. The way her face twisted in pleasure as she moaned his name. Hearing his voice repeated for the third time brought him back to reality. Right, this interview. "Sorry, rough night. Can you repeat the question please?" He smiled at the interviewer. She smiled back. "How are your relations with Leah? We know you got off to a rocky start, with the crashes in Barcelona. You have expressed in earlier interviews your dislike for your teammate, even going as far as declaring a war on her. Have your feelings towards her changed at all during the season?" He hesitated for a second as his mind kept coming back to her. Having to answer a question about her certainly didn't help. "Well, the season is still young, so is she to be frank. A lot of things can still happen and a lot of things can change. As for my feelings, I feel like all that's between us is rivalry, especially on my side." The interviewer nodded and smiled. "Thank you very much for your time." He smiled and left the room, his mind overwhelmed with thoughts. About her.

The practice went terribly. She was ninth in the first session and crashed in the second one. Max wasn't doing much better, finishing eighth and seventh. Going into the debrief, they were both pissed. "What the fuck happened today, guys?" Max's low voice echoed throughout the meeting room. "I know we're not that strong in rain, but for fuck's sake, we finished just barely in front of the Haas'." She looked at him in agreement. The pace they both got was terrible. "I agree with Max, something felt wrong with the car in the first session. Let's hope we can figure out what it is and fix it before the quali." Everyone nodded in agreement and left the room as the debrief finished, leaving only the drivers in there. "You called me by my name again." He smiled at her. "I did. So what, you're going to acknowledge that I have a name too, or are we still on a last name basis?" He leaned back in his chair, as she walked over to him and sat on the table. "I don't know Moore. What are we?" The question threw her off, as he looked at her waiting for an answer. She sighed and turned to look at him too. "We are rivals, who got drunk and made a mistake. That's it. It was one time and we're just going to move on from this, okay?" She patted him on the shoulder and exited the room, leaving him alone. 

Except he wasn't okay and didn't want to move on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the break, had to take the weekend off just to cool myself mentally. Anyway, stay safe everyone. As always feedback is appreciated.


	13. Ignite me, what's left of me, I relish your sweet innocence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay quali time in Hungary! Super excited about Portugal this weekend, we'll see how they do on a new track. Title from Memento by Epica.

Their pace was better on Saturday then on the day before, however it was still far from what they would want. Max finished seventh, only a fraction of a second behind her. Back in the garage she was staring at the lap times. "The Racing Points are getting too fast." His voice pulled her out of her thoughts. That was true. In all sessions the pink cars were in front of them. "Yeah, something is up with that." They weren't that fast in previous years and the pace they were showing was definitely a threat. "We just have to hope the team can figure out what is wrong with the cars, so that we can get good points in the race." She nodded in agreement and left the garage.

She knew the qualifying was going to require her to give 115%. She finished Q1 in twelfth. That wasn't good enough. "Okay Leah, we're through." That wasn't really something she was worried about, although not going to Q3 would have been an embarrassment not only for her, but for the whole team. She focused on the mechanics around her, as she waited for Q2 to begin.

Tenth. She was through. Barely. "And you're through! Just 0.013 shy of Gasly! Good job Leah!" She could hear how happy the team was, the pace was really bad that weekend. Going into Q3 she bit her lip and gripped her steering wheel tightly. She went out as one of the last to avoid traffic on the track. Eighth. "Do we have time for one more?" She was already pushing and wanted to try again. "If you hurry up, then yes." That was all she needed. Her second lap went much better, she hit all the braking points and pushed on all the straights. "And that's P-7. P-7. Good job Leah." She couldn't believe it. A lap that felt like pole only put her in seventh. 

She came back to the pits, furious. He was already there, almost as mad. "I thought you said you fixed whatever the fuck was wrong with the car!" She yelled after getting out of the car and making sure that there was no press nearby. Christian approached her, his face tense. He put his hand on her shoulder "I know you're disappointed, we'll talk about it behind closed doors." She pushed his hand away. "Don't touch me. I'm not disappointed, I'm pissed. The car was supposed to be working well. We're in the fourth row. We're supposed to be fighting Mercedes for the championship this season! Not McLaren for eighth for fuck's sake!" She grabbed her things and left the garage, avoiding all press.

She headed back to her hotel room to cool down. A text from him was the last thing she expected. "Hey, I'm going out to dinner. Want to join me? You looked like you could use it." She was dumbfounded. He sounded as if he cared about her. That couldn't be right. He hated her. And she hated him. So why was her heart speeding up as she thought about him? "Thanks, I'll meet you in the lobby in 20 minutes?" She threw her phone onto her bed and shook her head, in awe she just typed those words out to him.

He waited in the lobby, looking around nervously. He jumped when someone approached him and poked him on the shoulder. It was Daniel. "Woah, calm down mate. It's just me, what got you so jumpy?" Max gestured towards his teammate, who just entered the room. "Oh wow. Yeah, I see. Alright, see you later then, mate. Good luck on your date." She smiled and walked towards him. "A date? Is that what this is?" She teased him as his face turned red. "Come on, let's go. I made a reservation." 

They arrived at the restaurant, after Max drove them there. "I hope you like it, it's my favorite place to eat when I'm in Hungary." She smiled. Her mind was going wild, telling her she shouldn't be there. Not with him. They sat down at a table in the middle of the restaurant. She looked around. They were the only ones there. "Did… did you reserve the whole place?" He smiled and shrugged. "Guilty as charged." 

He would say the dinner went well. They laughed a bit and she definitely looked more relaxed than after qualifying. "The food was delicious and the wine! Oh! It was amazing! Please pay my compliments to the chef!" She smiled at the waiter who came by to check on them. He never saw anyone get so excited about food. Then it hit him. She was drunk. Again. He looked at her. "Hey, you ready to go?" She smiled at him and nodded. "Alright, stay here, I'll go pay and then we'll go okay?" She nodded again. He got up and walked over to the bar to pay, looking at her over his shoulder every few seconds, just to make sure she's okay. He paid for the meal and grabbed a bottle of wine, as he headed back to their table. "Alright, let's go." He helped her walk towards the car. 

"I want to drive." She pouted at him, as they got in. "No way, you're blackout drunk. I'm not letting you drive my car." He started up the engine and headed towards the hotel. She looked at him the whole ride and smiled. "What is it?" She smiled more. "Thank you. I really needed this." He smiled back at her. "You're welcome." They drove the rest of the way in silence, with only the sound of them breathing between them.

They reached the hotel and he walked her to her room. "Well, goodnight. I'm glad you enjoyed yourself. See you on the track tomorrow." She grabbed his hand. "Stay." Her tone was demanding as she looked at him through a drunken haze. He smirked and entered the room after her. 

He poured them both glasses of wine and drank his in one sip. He wasn't planning on staying in her room sober. Not when she wasn't. He sat down on her bed. She grabbed her own glass and sat in his lap. He looked at her and grabbed the back of her head, pulling her into a messy kiss. 

He didn't even realize when their clothes came off and she got on top of him. He heard her moan into his ear, as she teased him with her hands, putting on a condom. He wanted to stop and wanted to go at the same time. He knew they shouldn't be doing that. "What if someone comes in?" He whispered to her. "Then we'll get caught and face it like adults. Are you scared Verstappen?" He didn't answer and only slammed himself into her with one quick thrust. She moaned into his shoulder at the unexpected feeling. They moved in unison, feeling they were both getting closer to their release. It came a few minutes later, making them both groan into each other. 

He got up, put his clothes back on and left without saying a word. He couldn't deal with her. Not yet. They never should have done it, but at the same time he never wanted to stop. His mind was full of only her, as he went to sleep.

"She's going to be the end of me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry this took so long, I got back to school, so I had less time to work on this, but I promise I'll try to write more over the weekend. As always, feedback greatly appreciated.


	14. Why didn't you stay a while, to say goodbye, my friend?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back from my little hiatus, sorry everyone. I needed to take a few days off to focus on school and my mental health. Anyways, it's race time in Hungary. Title from Come Closer by Delain.

She woke up with a splitting headache and no memory of the previous night. She looked at her phone. 6:30. At least she had some time to wake herself up fully before the race. She got up from her bed and took some painkillers, as she tried to remember what happened the night before. She walked into her bathroom and washed her face with cold water, sending a shockwave down her body. She walked around her room for a while, until the medicine kicked in, making her feel instantly better, as her head was no longer exploding. She put on a pair of black sweatpants and a black t-shirt, tied her hair up and went for a run. 

The cold, morning, hungarian air worked perfectly as a hangover cure. It was almost completely gone by time she was done running and came back to her room. She started remembering what happened the previous night, but she still couldn't remember anything after she left the restaurant with Max and she wasn't ready to face him. She looked at her phone. 10:20. She changed into her race suit and headed towards the track, grabbing a quick breakfast on the way.

She arrived at the track, as the Formula 3 race was finishing. She chose not to go to the Red Bull garage, because seeing Max was the last thing she needed and instead decided to hang out with F2 drivers before their race. It had been a while since she talked to her former rivals and she missed them. She made her way to catch up with drivers, who a few months earlier were her direct competition. She decided to head to Prema to talk to Mick Schumacher. He was one of the few drivers who she remembered quite well from the previous year, they hung out a bunch and she considered him one of her closest friends she made in motorsports.

All the people she passed were surprised, as no one expected her to come to an F2 garage, especially one that wasn't of the team she raced in. She smiled at them, forgetting she was wearing a mask, so it probably just looked like she stared at them all. Someone asked her for an autograph, which was a surreal experience to her. Because of the pandemic all fan events were cancelled, so she never got to go into a crowd, sign posters and pose for pictures. She located Mick, who was talking with another young man, who she assumed was his teammate, Robert Shwartzman. 

"Hey Mick." She walked up to the two drivers. "Leah? What are you doing here?" She smiled. "Can't stand my teammate so I decided to come talk to someone nicer." He smiled back at her. "Oh, speaking of teammates, Leah, this is Robert. Robert, Leah." The Russian looked at her. "Nice to meet you." She was surprised at his accent, he didn't sound Russian at all, compared to Kvyat. "It's nice to meet you too. How has your season been so far?" Mick looked at his teammate. "He's absolutely beating my ass in every single race. He won two feature races, has been on the podium three out of five times, finished every race in points." She was impressed. "Oh wow, that's amazing! I feel like there's a champion in the making here!" They all laughed. Mick turned to her. "How has your season been, Lee?" She sighed. "I got one podium, in Styria, and I plan to win today, but I'm starting from seventh, so…" She cut off, noticing Olivia, who was frantically searching for someone. "Sorry guys, I have to go. Good luck on your race!" 

She left the garage and walked towards her friend. "Hey Liv, what's up?" Olivia looked at her and sighed with huge relief. "There you are! Oh, I was so worried! Max said you two went out and that you got drunk and that he wasn't sure if you-" Leah shushed her. "Calm down. Everything is fine. I didn't feel like seeing Max, so I decided to catch up with Mick. It's okay, I was just on my way back. Let's go, okay?" She spoke slowly, in a peaceful tone, trying to calm her friend down. Olivia nodded as they both headed to the garage.

He was pacing around, as they all waited for Leah to arrive. He was worried she was going to call him out on getting her drunk. He was also wondering how much she remembered of the previous night. He tensed up and tried to look away, when he heard her talking with Olivia, as they entered the building. 

She spotted him and decided to find out exactly what happened the night before. "Hey. Can we talk?" She spoke quietly to make sure no one heard her. He nodded and they headed into one of the empty meeting rooms. "So… I know this is a weird question, but… can you tell me what happened yesterday? I pretty much blacked out for the whole night. The last thing I remember is us, eating in a restaurant and the food being very good." He was relieved and sad with the fact that she didn't remember what happened after the dinner. "Yeah, we ate dinner, you got drunk on hungarian wine and I drove you back to the hotel. That's all." She was also relieved. "Oh thank god, I was scared that we did something… you know." He nodded and smiled. "No, no. Nothing happened. Uhh… Good luck with the race." He turned around and quickly left, leaving her thinking in the empty room.

The F2 race finished and to her delight Mick finished on the podium. She made her way to his garage to congratulate him. "Third! In both races! That's amazing, Mick!" She was so happy and could see he was too. They talked for a while, until she had to leave for her own race. It was beginning to rain, which worried her. A lot.

She got into her car and left the pitlane. It wasn't raining anymore, but the track was still wet and slippery. They were on their way to the grid, when she saw yellow flags being waved. The incident happened behind her and she didn't see who it was. She immediately radioed her engineer. "What happened?" "Max slid off and hit the barriers a bit." She lined up on the grid and got out of the car. The mechanics were already running with spare parts for Max. He was standing nearby, trying to avoid getting hit by front wings and tires, as people tried to fix his car. They finished just in time for him to be able to make it in the race. 

The start was her best one ever, she managed to jump up to third from sixth, only Hamilton and Stroll in front of her. Bottas' start wasn't really good, which let her get ahead. A few laps passed and the track dried even more. A message came through on the radio, just as she was about to ask about a tire change. "I think we should pit for slicks. The track is drying." "Wanted to say the same thing. Pitting at the end of this lap." The pit stop was very fast, letting her back out on the circuit with the loss of only three positions, however all the drivers in front, including Max, were still before their tire change, meaning she would get back her position once they pitted. That's what happened a few laps later, as she managed to get in front of Stroll, leaving her in second behind Hamilton, who was running away from the pack with every corner.

The race went mostly uneventful for her. She was sitting in second place, almost ten seconds behind Hamilton and with Bottas in third, out of her DRS zone for the entire time. She crossed the finish line with the chequered flag waved to secure her highest ever finish in F1. "Yes! P-2! Great job!" She could hear the whole team was happy and so was she. She pulled up alongside Lewis, who was already out and being weighed. She congratulated him on the win and headed to the podium. Finally being able to drink the champagne was an amazing feeling she would cherish for many races to come. It was the feeling of success. 

And this was just the beginning of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry it took so long for me to write this! Ahhhh! I've been overwhelmed with school, but my goal remains: at least one chapter per week. I'll try to write a bunch more over the week. Stay safe, wear your masks and Blessed Samhain!


	15. Have to try to break free from the thoughts in my mind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ffs the race in Imola was a mess. I can't believe both Max and Pierre didn't finish. At least Daniel P3 and Dany P4 (#keepkvyat2021). That's good. Anyways, no race weekend in this chapter, Silverstone in the next one. Title from Pale by Within Temptation.

She woke up in her hotel room, ready to go home before the British Grand Prix. A break from racing would do her really good, considering how stressed she has been in the past month. She was packing up her things when she noticed something reflecting light from under the bed. She walked over to it and inspected it. It was a watch. Definitely not her watch. She called Olivia to ask if it was hers. It was not. It wasn't her brother's either. That could only mean one thing. It was his. She put the watch into a pocket of her backpack and headed out to the airport.

She was waiting for her plane when she saw him there. He noticed her too and decided to head towards her. "The plane to Monaco leaves from the other side of the airport. You might want to hurry." She spoke lazily, not looking up from her phone. He sat down next to her"Good thing I'm not going to Monaco then." She moved her head rapidly. "You're not?" He chuckled. "Nope. I'm going to the US to visit some friends. They live in Seattle." She sighed and rolled her eyes. "How is it that of all the places in the world, your friends live in my hometown?" He shrugged and looked at the watch on his wrist, the gesture reminding her of the one in her backpack. She looked up from her phone and at her teammate. "By the way, after that dinner on Saturday you just dropped me off at the hotel, right? Nothing more?" He looked at her, confused. "That's a weird question to ask, but to answer it: no, I also walked you to your room and then went to mine." She narrowed her eyes. "But did you come in?" "No, I didn't. I left you at your door." She raised an eyebrow and pulled something out from her backpack. 

The confusion in his eyes faded for a second and turned into fear as he realized what she was holding. 

The watch he carelessly left in her room. 

"By the look on your face, I can see you know what this is. Now tell me, did your watch magically appear in my room, or did you lie to me?" Her tone was bitter and cold like nothing he ever heard from her before. He didn't know what to say, there wasn't a scenario in which he emerged victorious from this situation. "Leah, I'm sor-" He tried to apologise, but was interrupted when Olivia approached them. "Did I just hear you say her name? Are you two no longer on last name basis? Are we past that childish phase?" They both looked at her, as Leah threw the watch onto her teammate's chest. "No Liv, we're not. See you next week in Silverstone, Verstappen." She grabbed her friend and left for the plane, forgetting he was also getting on it. 

They sat down in the plane and Leah pulled out her earphones, ready to listen to music through the whole flight. "You were doing so good! You even called him Max once and he just called you Leah too! What happened?" Olivia was visibly upset with her friend's behavior towards the Dutchman. "He's an asshole and he lied to me and I hope he crashes out in every single race." She went quiet for a second. "Actually, I don't want that. That would be very bad for the team. I hope he chokes on tomato soup." Olivia looked at her, puzzled. "Tomato soup?" Leah nodded. "Tomato soup. It's his favorite and I hope he chokes on it." Her friend giggled. "That's cute that you know what his favorite soup is." Leah rolled her eyes and put in her earphones. She decided to sleep through the flight to try and not think about him.

After they landed in Seattle she headed home to spend time with her family, trying to avoid him whilst leaving the airport. He caught her, as she was waiting for her Uber. "Lee, can we talk?" She turned towards him, anger in her eyes. "You lost the privilege to use my name when you decided to lie to me." He put his hand on her shoulder and she pushed it off. "Leah, I'm so sorry. Please, you have to believe me." She looked at him, tears forming in her eyes. "Why did you do this to me? You used me when I was drunk and then lied to me about it. Why, Max?" He couldn't stand to look her in the eyes, not when she was so close to crying. And it was all because of him. He stared at the pavement and tried to come up with an answer. "Leah, I don't know what to say. I'm sorry." A car pulled up and she got inside, not daring to look at him, feeling that his face would cause her to break down.

She spent the whole week with her family, which let her forget all about him. She only remembered at night, right as she was falling asleep. She remembered his voice, his touch, his face. And every night she forced the memories out of her head, leaving her thinking about nothing at all.

All throughout the week his mind kept wandering back to her. How sad and disappointed she looked when she realized he lied to her. How angry she was at him. He hung out with his friends and only after getting drunk was able to stop thinking about her. For a week straight he went out, got drunk and went home with a random girl. Each night a different one. Just to try and forget her. But every morning when he woke up, he was disappointed at who was lying in his bed. He was disappointed it wasn't her. No matter what he did, he couldn't seem to get her out of his head.

Heading to the airport to go to Silverstone was bittersweet. He knew he would see her and would probably be able to talk to her, however in the state that their relationship was in, he wasn't sure that any contact between was a good idea.

Not until she forgave him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Silverstone in the next one, yay! I have a bunch of shit to do for school, but I promise I'll keep writing in my free time <3\. Feedback is appreciated, but most importantly: stay safe everyone!


	16. My forever starts tomorrow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thursday/Friday in Silverstone. Massive thank you to everyone who stuck around with this thing <3\. Title from Virtue and Vice by Delain.

She felt ready to go back on track after the short break. Spending time with her family helped her relax and stop thinking about Max, but when she arrived in Silverstone on Thursday morning her head was slowly overwhelming her with thoughts of him. Seeing him change after a run definitely didn't help. She looked at his naked chest and involuntarily curled her toes and bit her lip. He noticed her and gave her a cheeky grin, making her face go blank as she flipped him off and walked towards him. She leaned up to his face and whispered, her breath warm against his ear, making his heart speed up. "I'm still mad at you Verstappen, but I gotta say, you look like a whore." She bit his ear and walked away. He called out her name after her a few times in vain, hoping she would stop and talk to him more. 

She didn't.

Her heart was beating at light speed and she couldn't comprehend why she reacted the way she did. Why did she walk up to him? Why did she say what she said? Why did she bite his ear? And why couldn't she get him out of her head?! She was still extremely mad at him for using her when she was drunk, but for some reason she wanted to go back to him, hug him and say she forgives him. She wanted to scream and run away from the garage, but instead she walked over to Olivia, who arrived the previous night and was now leaning against a wall, smiling at something on her phone "Hey Liv, what's the schedule for today?" She looked up from her phone, shocked. "You sound excited. About press stuff. Something is wrong. What is it?" Leah made an innocent face. "What do you mean? I looove giving interviews, it's the best part of the job." Her tone was filled with sarcasm, causing Olivia to roll her eyes before showing the younger woman the press schedule for the day. She only had to do the obligatory Thursday press conference with Max in the afternoon and was free to do whatever she wanted, something she was normally very happy about. 

This time however she looked disappointed. 

"Liv, are you sure that's everything? Are you sure there is nothing more? Not one tiny interview I can do, so that I don't have to stay in the garage?" Her friend looked her in the eye. "So that's the problem. You don't want to be here. I assume it's got something to do with Max, but I'm not gonna pry. You tell me when you're ready okay? For now, go do the track walk and then you can hang out with the drivers from the feeder series, I'm sure they would love to have someone from F1 come talk to them." Leah nodded and took a deep breath. "Thank you for being so understanding, I really don't deserve you. You're the best." She hugged her friend tightly and let go after a few seconds. She pulled out her phone and texted Mick, asking if he wanted to hang out. She felt her phone vibrate in her hand probably with a response from Mick and wanted to check it but she was interrupted by someone putting their hand on her shoulder.

"Lee, can we talk?"

His voice rang in her ears as she tried to block him out. She still had her back turned to him, because she knew that looking at him, as he was trying to apologise, would definitely cause her to break down. She pushed his hand off her shoulder and kept looking at Olivia, who was staring at Max with a cold look on her face. "I thought I told you already to stop calling me that. And I thought I told you I'm still pissed at you. So no, Verstappen, we can't talk. Now, I have to leave, there is someone waiting for me, who I would rather spend time with." She walked around him, making sure to not even throw him a glance, as she left the building and headed towards the Prema garage. 

She spent most of the day with Mick and Robert, just talking about nothing in particular. Before she noticed the time was 3 p.m. and she had to leave for the press conference. She said her goodbyes to everyone in the garage and headed to the press pen for the interview. 

The conference went fairly well, she answered all the questions, most of them about the disappointment with the previous race and hopes for the upcoming one. "From what we've been told, there was an issue with the cars that has now been resolved. The cars should be running in top form tomorrow, maybe even better than before." She smiled at the camera, but the gesture was hidden by her mask. Max gave basically the same answer and they left the building, without exchanging a word. He started saying something, but stopped when she paid him a cold side glance and shook her head. He sighed and went looking for Daniel, hoping to vent to his friend.

On the night after Thursday she slept very well and woke up with a lot of energy. She headed towards the garage, feeling better than the day before. She went in, ready to take on the track and decimate her competition.

To say the session went amazing would be an understatement.

She was P-1, with Max in P-2, they were 0.5 of a second in front of Hamilton and over a second ahead of Bottas. She was beaming while looking at the times. "I can't believe it." She whispered in awe. Someone came up and patted her on the back, congratulating her. She mumbled a quick thanks in response and looked around to try and find Olivia. She couldn't spot her anywhere and decided that she probably just left early. She did tell her before the session that she was feeling weird. She saw Max talking with his engineer and wanted to come up to him and gloat, but had to remind herself that she was still mad at him. 

It was hard, having to ignore him, but she needed time to fully recover from the interaction. No matter how she looked at it, he used her when she was black out drunk and then proceeded to lie to her about it. She thought about it a lot, despite tearing up almost immediately when she did. She felt abused and dirty at the thought of him touching her when she was drunk and he was not. 

She shook her head, as if to disperse the thoughts and took a sip of her water. She had a few hours of peace before the next session and decided to spend it by listening to music and looking over the laps in which her driving wasn't that clean, to see what could be improved.

The second session went much worse.

She crashed out after braking too late into a corner and sent her car into the barriers. Luckily she managed to set a flying lap before the incident, but it wasn't very clean, with her running wide in two corners. Overall it was an okay lap and it let her finish in P-2. Max had issues with his car and traffic on his flying lap, resulting in him not even getting into the top 10. The frustration and tension in the garage was at an all time high and she could feel it in the air. After the disastrous weekend in Hungary they really needed good results. 

All she could do is hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always: feedback appreciated, stay safe, wear your masks <3 I can't believe we're on 1000 hits, it's truly a miracle for me, never in a million years have I expected so many people to be interested in my work. Thank you everyone for reading this <3.


	17. Fear was a part of me, growing stronger, breaking into my soul

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quali time in Silverstone yay. Thank you to all of you for sticking around with this. Y'all are truly amazing <3 Title comes from Exhale by Amaranthe.

The Saturday practice session was frustrating, to say the least. She spent most of the hour in the garage with an electrical issue on her car. She managed to get a few laps at the end, but they weren't clean and allowed her to finish only 11th quickest overall. It wasn't good, especially on a day when she would have wanted to maximise her running time after her heavy crash on Friday cut short her second free practice. The session was absolutely dominated by Mercedes, she stood in the garage and shook her head in disbelief at the times they were pulling off. They were in a completely different league and she knew that trying to catch them was going to be tough.

The qualifying went amazingly in comparison with the practice sessions. She managed to get P-4 after a pretty clean lap, she wasn't as familiar with the braking points as she would like to be, due to missing most of two out of three sessions, but starting from the second row was still a satisfying result. She knew she would have to push everything she had in the race, in order to get good points.

She got back to the garage from parc fermé and grabbed her phone out of her bag. She put in her earphones and played her music as she waited for the debrief to begin. She decided to look at the fastest lap of the session until everyone arrived.   
She looked at Lewis's pole position lap more than fifteen times before Max finally showed up and they could begin. When he finally walked into the debrief room he mumbled something about the interviews taking a lot of time and sat down next to her. She rolled her eyes and focused on the engineers.

Well, at least she tried to...

She could barely focus in the debrief with Max sitting next to her and constantly trying to talk to her. She ignored him throughout it all and focused on the data presented. She wanted to do well in the race, especially to be better than him. To show him that she wasn't just another girl that he can use. She wanted to be his rival. She wanted to be his enemy. 

Unfortunately for her, that was difficult to achieve with his hand hanging dangerously close to hers under the table.

She wanted to hate him, despise him, wanted to be his worst nightmare. Yet at the same time, she wanted to be close to him, wanted to get to know him. A part of her even wanted to kiss him. Right there. Right then. She was snapped out of her head when she heard everyone leaving the room. She hurriedly took all of her things and wanted to follow, however a strong hand on her shoulder stopped her as she was reaching for the door handle. 

She turned around and raised an eyebrow at Max, who was still holding his hand on her shoulder, her gaze was stuck on his face as she studied every element of it. If you looked from aside, you would be able to pinpoint the exact moment when she realized how beautiful she found his eyes. The way they blue looked bright in contrast to the dark color of his team clothes. The expression on her face in the span of a few seconds changed from annoyed and irritated to soft and touched. 

"Leah, can we talk, please?" His tone was almost begging and she gave him a soft smile and a small nod, as she walked back to the table and sat down on the edge of it. "Leah, I… I am so sorry. I really am. I would never use you. Please forgive me." He wasn't looking at her, instead staring at the floor. She sighed and rubbed her temples. "I've thought about this, and, Max..." She stopped for a second when he raised his head. She didn't realize that she called him by his name until he was looking at her and she felt a chill run down her spine as the blue eyes felt as if they almost pierced her.

"I forgive you, Max. We all make mistakes. Now, we have to address another issue." She saw the fear plaster itself onto his face as he held his breath, his eyes wide open. "What are we going to say when someone sees us leaving the meeting room 10 minutes after the debriefs ended?" He sighed, relieved and smirked. "That's not going to be a problem, I've done this before. You leave first, I wait 5 minutes and go after you and maybe we can meet up later for dinner?" The smile on his face was growing with every spoken sentence.

She crossed her arms and looked at him. "Oh yeah sure, we're just going to forget what happened the last time you took me out to dinner on a Saturday. No way. We're not doing that again. You can come to my room and we can order a pizza and talk or something. That's it. Does six work for you?" He smiled and nodded. "Great, see you at six then." She opened the door and started walking back towards the hotel. 

She made it back to her room and decided to clean it up before Max's arrival. She grabbed her phone and looked at the time. 5:45. "Shit." She mumbled to herself as she realized how little time she had to choose an outfit. She ended up going with a red t-shirt and black, high-waisted jeans. Just as she finished touching up her makeup, she heard a knock on the door.

He was there.

She took a deep breath and opened the door. He immediately walked in and set some pizza boxes on the table. "I didn't know what you like, so I got a few different ones." She sighed. "You didn't have to do that." He turned around and stepped closer. "I know, but I wanted to."

This was going to be more difficult than she expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, but here's a chapter. They finally made up yay. As always, feedback appreciated, stay safe <3


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